Faults: Comon, yet frustrating
Few things happened today, yet they seemed eternally significant. I had my third organic test and I probably did not do as well as I did on the first or the second one. Perhaps, it was Anne’s fault for teaching us insufficient information, or worse, for making the test too difficult. Conversely, my insufficient studying (over 5 hours) left me hopelessly unprepared for this test. Maybe, I simply got lucky during the past two tests and this test is the accurate measure of my abilities.
In a little time, I have spent an entire paragraph, 95 words and counting, dwelling my performance and trying to rationalize yet. Simultaneously, I spent the past three minutes of typing this paragraph futility lamenting something unchangeable and arriving at no conclusion. Perhaps, if I thought for the rest of the life, or the next 10 minutes, I would truly contrive the reason for my slack performance, but is it worth the time. I believe our live follow this pattern, especially in our relationships with God.
Generally, in our eagerness, we set unattainable goals, such as perfection. Failure is not an option. In the presence of failure, we berate ourselves and emphasize our worthless qualities. Rather than considering how to proceed from this point, we dwell on the events that led to our failure. All the time, God realizes that we will make mistakes and appreciates our recognition of that mistake more than our steps to isolate the cause of the mistake.
It is difficult to realize the dangers of lingering on our faults. In the example above, it captured my attention. Generally this leaves me depressed upset or distracts me from other present tasks. Consequently, my attention shifted from God to my problems. Where do I find hope or a solution? Actually, yesterday I woke up considering the abundance of tasks I needed to complete that day. I find it difficult to sort out my day and guilty when I leave God out of the picture. It was when I started to diminish my concentration on my problems and start the day systematically that my day started to progress.
As I began to reflect on my distraught state, I began to realize my tradeoffs. I never realized the expenses that accompanied this contemplation and analysis. For the past two years, I have lost countless hours of sleeps and time with God. I began to realize that neither God nor I truly controlled my life. Some combination of my perfectionist urge and my schoolwork controlled it instead. I have challenged myself to change this. Naturally, a life where God takes second place does not fulfill me as much a life with him in the primary seat. It is important that we assess or mistakes, but more important that we allows God to help us up and life a life where we will not repeat the mistake. Do not trade God for anything, no even your problems. He would prefer you to have problems, work each day to fix them and fail, than to exclude him from you life because you have become obsessed with your fault. As proverbs, 24:16 says, “For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again.” Remember that Christ makes us righteous, not our acts (Romans 3:21-24).
(The first person pluralities are creepy, but bear with me.)
In a little time, I have spent an entire paragraph, 95 words and counting, dwelling my performance and trying to rationalize yet. Simultaneously, I spent the past three minutes of typing this paragraph futility lamenting something unchangeable and arriving at no conclusion. Perhaps, if I thought for the rest of the life, or the next 10 minutes, I would truly contrive the reason for my slack performance, but is it worth the time. I believe our live follow this pattern, especially in our relationships with God.
Generally, in our eagerness, we set unattainable goals, such as perfection. Failure is not an option. In the presence of failure, we berate ourselves and emphasize our worthless qualities. Rather than considering how to proceed from this point, we dwell on the events that led to our failure. All the time, God realizes that we will make mistakes and appreciates our recognition of that mistake more than our steps to isolate the cause of the mistake.
It is difficult to realize the dangers of lingering on our faults. In the example above, it captured my attention. Generally this leaves me depressed upset or distracts me from other present tasks. Consequently, my attention shifted from God to my problems. Where do I find hope or a solution? Actually, yesterday I woke up considering the abundance of tasks I needed to complete that day. I find it difficult to sort out my day and guilty when I leave God out of the picture. It was when I started to diminish my concentration on my problems and start the day systematically that my day started to progress.
As I began to reflect on my distraught state, I began to realize my tradeoffs. I never realized the expenses that accompanied this contemplation and analysis. For the past two years, I have lost countless hours of sleeps and time with God. I began to realize that neither God nor I truly controlled my life. Some combination of my perfectionist urge and my schoolwork controlled it instead. I have challenged myself to change this. Naturally, a life where God takes second place does not fulfill me as much a life with him in the primary seat. It is important that we assess or mistakes, but more important that we allows God to help us up and life a life where we will not repeat the mistake. Do not trade God for anything, no even your problems. He would prefer you to have problems, work each day to fix them and fail, than to exclude him from you life because you have become obsessed with your fault. As proverbs, 24:16 says, “For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again.” Remember that Christ makes us righteous, not our acts (Romans 3:21-24).
(The first person pluralities are creepy, but bear with me.)
posted by Child of God at 7:16 PM
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