Good times.

Living Ahead

Lately, I find myself nostalgic and yet eager for the future. A yearn for a time where I am at peace and without worry, a time that should be upon me in the next few days. Otherwise, I find myself wishing that it was the beginning of the semester, or better yet, the beginning of my high school experience. Every day, I consider that magnitude of approaches and decisions I would have altered. While I can only think of many minor modifications now, each one would have had a lasting effect on my personality today. No matter how futile this thinking, I find it impossible to avoid it altogether.
I find it surprising the many people as well as I crave the future and the past and rarely find themselves content with the present. Interestingly enough, the time and age we wish we had comes, and brings no happiness. Perhaps, we people are inevitably doomed to remain forever discontent with our situations. Why is this? Is this God’s way of keeping us running into his arms? Is it the devils plot to occupy our minds? Ah, an even better explanations! It’s the devils plan to keep us from being happy. Personally, I find our discontent to be a failure on our part. In these situations we fail to realize and capitalize on the grace that God has given us. This semester I spent much of my time dreading the work that I was assigned. I did not realize how grateful I should have been that I was able to struggle with these concepts or even discover new things. Rather than viewing the work as an arduous impossible effort, I could have looked at them as an opportunity to sharpen my skills. Even so, there is no reason why I could not have enjoyed that time fellowshipping with God.
Living ahead accomplishes one things, wasting time. It does allow us to appreciate the moment. For example, how many people realized the trees turned a bright red color during fall this year before wilting, or realized that almost all of the trees are bare? Better yet, how many people truly appreciate the last breathe they just took. I know that I constantly take that for granted, and yet that very moment is as precious as any other in life. A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend who said, “Without school, I’m is not one. It’s who I am.” This student said in a fit to finish the college applications, which are all due in a little less than a month. Now understand, she has already written much of her essays and had them proofread. Even though there is much to comment on, I would like to address that he/she was defining herself by the school she will not attend for at least another 8 to 9 months. While ambition is important, this ambition interferes with living in and enjoying the moment.
I’ve heard the common comment that people work hard now so that they can have fun later. I believe that procrastination is always bad, because it’s difficult to stop procrastinating at the perfect time. Sometimes I have little appreciation for each moment, worry about the future, and thereby procrastinate. It’s important to live a balanced wholesome life, one with fun and hard work, one where God is center, and while we persevere in all endeavors. Seize each moment, make it joyful, make it precious, and harness its greatness.

Other Limits?

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life where you felt completely uninspired? It’s a time when you were deferring something important and yet, all the while God was on your mind. I’m at that point right now. I think I may leave this blog title null or simply write it uninspired. I have never felt so close to God, but unable to reach him until now. There is so much that I would like to share with him, and yet I’m afraid he doesn’t hear or he doesn’t care. Lately I've felt as if God was or at least should be angry with you. I feel that excessively now. I have put school and everything else before him in the past few weeks in a struggle to survive, in school anyway. I’m currently listing to the song, Take My Life by Passion Worship Band:
Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord to thee
Take my moment and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise
Take my hands and let them move, at the impulse of thy love
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for thee
Take my voice and let me see always only for thy king
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages for me
Take my silver and my gold not a might would I withhold
Take my intellect and muse, every power as you choose

Here am I, All of me
Take my life, it’s all for thee

Take my world, and make it thine, it shall be no longer mine
take my heart, it is thine own, it shall be thy royal thrown
take my love, my Lord I pour, at your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be ever only all for thee
Take myself and I will be ever only all for thee
Here am I, all of me
take my life, it’s all for thee
here am I, all of me
Take my life, it’s all for thee
Here am I, all of me
Take my life, it’s all for thee
Take my life, here am I
Take my life, Lord, Take my life

Here am I, All of me
Take my life, it’s all for thee
Here am I, All of me
Take my life, it’s all for thee
Here Am I, all of me
Take my life, it’s all for thee
Here Am I, all of me
Take my life, it’s all for thee
Here Am I, all of me
Take my life, it’s all for thee

Take my life
Take my life, and let it be consecrated lord to thee
What a sincere prayer. I am sitting down and considering what it means to offer God your life. When you are truly living solely for him, every decisions, moment, and thought becomes focused on God. Most importantly, it’s like letting something powerful and amazing out of a box and allowing it to places you never thought you would visit. It is removing the limit from God and finally allowing God to do everything he plans to do. Many of us fear giving our lives totally to God or making it totally to God because of several reasons:
1.) Unsure what that means
2.) Afraid you will lose yourself
3.) Don’t believe you can live a life that is “perfect”
4.) Don’t really want to give in to God just yet
5.) You don’t know God
The first one is easy. Begin to sincerely pray that God will begin to infiltrate you life and begin to make him more like him. Most importantly, pray that he’ll take control of your life. Sincerity is probably the most important part of that statement. God knows our hearts and empty words does not “move” him and therefore your prayer will accomplish nothing. Once you pray you should begin to believe that God would do this for you. Most times God will begin to work in your life without you faith, but it’s always more fun to trust God. Perhaps I will deal with the latter 4 at a later date, but for right now, I’m going to explain what all of this has to do with limits.
Imagine you are going on a maze. Suddenly, you find a map in the middle of that scavenger hunt. The map does not show you where you are going, but it vaguely capture where you have been. At the top of map, a note says it will lead you to the end of the maze. You begin to walk forward with the map and you come to a fork in the road, you have some natural inclination to go right, and suddenly something appears on the map that tells you go left rather than go right. Unfamiliar with the map and its markings, you choose to follow your natural inclination. After hours of trying to find your ways back, it turns out that the left turn brings you to the first checkpoint. You repeat the mistake of ignoring the map two more times. You have one of three options of this point:
1.) You will continue to follow your inclinations (temptations)
2.) You will depend solely on the map and follow it religiously
3.) You will continue with your inclinations at times and other times just follow the map
Option and 1 and 3 put a huge limit on God. Number 3 will inevitably leave you stranded and so far astray that you will find it nearly impossible to get back to following the map. Notice in the analogy, when you are off track, it does not show you the way back, so you will inevitably get lost in your lukewarm tendencies and not being able to find your way back. For number 1, you are doomed to wonder the maze endlessly, forever, or long enough to lose yourself. If you ever find the exit to the maze, you it will be of no benefit to you. It turns out person number 2, makes it through the maze with little difficulty, simply because you set the map free to direct. He did not question its authority, he did not do this on blind faith, the map had proven itself and so he followed the device. Although you spent a long time in the maze, he knew, without doubt, he would one day find the end.
How many people know that they will one day find the end? How many people are following the direction and taking the proper route through life? Mainly, option 2 allows the map no limits. He could lead the man anywhere and he would follow. Do you have that much trust and faith in God? Are you allowing him to lead you anywhere or are there limits? Can God only dictate a portion of your life? To be honest, number 1, 2, and 3 exist on a continuum where 1 and 2 are at opposing ends and number 3 is directly in the middle. Few people reach 3, 1, and even fewer reach number 2. Most people, saved or unsaved, could probably find themselves somewhere between 1 and 3. We tend to follow our inclinations than we follow God’s commands. I’m really encouraging you to Take the Limits OFF and to RELEASE God to Direct your Life.
NO LIMITS

No Limits

What limits have we put on God? Whether conscious or de facto, the limits we place on God can negatively affect our relationship. If you’ll bear with me, follow this analogy. You have been separated from you father for a long time. You were separated early in life because of circumstances out of both of your control and you have finally gotten the opportunity to rebuild your relationship. You finally get the opportunity to meet him and you suddenly begin to speculate what he will be like. You will use what you understand about other fathers, the circumstnace that split you apart, and the opinions of others in forming a general assessment of this man. When you meet him, he will either surpass or corroborate your speculations. You suddenly find yourself in a situation where you expect many terrible things, but all he ever does are great things. At times, you misinterpret his motivations and the efforts he contributes because you have already formed a generalization of this man. You have put him in a box, a prison, a place full of limits.
In many ways, this is similar to what we do with God. We each have our preconceived notions of God and rather than experiencing him for ourselves. It makes no sense to place these limits on God. God at times will respect our artificial limits. Because he has given us the privilege of choice, he will not help or bless us because our limits on him ask him not to do so. God has made it clear that he has no limits. He says that he can do immeasurably more than and above all that we can imagine. I have decided to extinguish the limits that I have put on God. If we put limits on God, we do more damage that we do good. We cannot comprehend the extent of God’s justice, mercy, beneficence, or majesty. Most important we should not try to constrain it.

Ordinary Day, but unOrdinary Thoughts

I had one of those days, today, a day where I feel as though I did not accomplish much. Actually, a few minutes ago, I felt a little defeated. At times, I feel immature and somewhat small when others are watching me. Let us recap a little about today so that those claims can make sense.
Time I spend at school:
I spend a lot of time at school and many people speculate my motivation for doing this. At times, it is annoying, other times it is frustrating. Someone created a rumor about how I spent the night at school at one point. While these sayings and rumors are harmless, it bothers me that people have prematurely made conclusions about why I spend so much time at school. No one has considered that I need to be at school all the time, or that I may be having problems at home, or that I feel safer and secure all the time, or that it is just a place where I can think, or than I’m taking classes when others are gone, or that I just like the school environment. Perhaps, school is the only place I can do homework or study for a test. Instead, everyone has made it a point to highlight the amount of time that I spend at school and comment on it. I have grown weary of their comments, and yet I still adore these people. Actually, I do not think that many people could imagine how highly I view them.
Have you ever had a friend who constantly pointed out how awkward it was for him/her to say something about him/her self while you were around? I have that all the time. I think it is one of the most awkward things in the world. One day I walked into the room of my counselor’s office and she abruptly took up her papers and covered up whatever was on the desk. I did not really intend to look at it. I was stopping by to say “hi” and briefly speak to the counselor. She wasted no time in communicating the exclusivity of whatever item were on the desk. The next day, I decided to do the same thing to her once she looked on my computer so that she could realize how awkward her actions made me feel (bad idea). She instantly took the defensive side and started arguing about how she was not going to read it and that she thought it was something pertinent to her lab. The point is she became upset because I did to her what she did to me.
Today, I went to alternate seminar. I think it is funny that so many early college students thought they had a right to know why I went to the seminar. Honestly, I have to right to go to any class to which the professor invites me. It is hard to believe that my presence could have been that annoying or distracting to other students. Laura-Beth agreed with me (you have to love Laura-Beth). I hate having to justify my actions to everyone. I do not ask others to justify their actions and expect the same courteously from others. That really bothered me today. I think it bothered me because the people who comment and do these things are suppose to be my friends. I think I may have a loose interpretation of friendship. The people I am talking about are really acquaintances and see me as an acquaintance. It may actually be time that I just sever the bonds or at least change the way I view these people. I should not give them the opportunity to offend me. Either way, I believe will take care of it, because he has already begun to help me cope with this issue.
I have already prayed about it. After praying, I have just decided to dissolve some of my opinions and just remove some of my commentary. I believe that my comments at times can be far too extravagant and that I should limit my criticism to those who ask for it rather than freely extending it. Sometimes, just stopping pray, and singing to God can fix a problem that seems to have no solution. Today seemed like an ordinary day, but it has sparked some unordinary thoughts.

Faults: Comon, yet frustrating

Few things happened today, yet they seemed eternally significant. I had my third organic test and I probably did not do as well as I did on the first or the second one. Perhaps, it was Anne’s fault for teaching us insufficient information, or worse, for making the test too difficult. Conversely, my insufficient studying (over 5 hours) left me hopelessly unprepared for this test. Maybe, I simply got lucky during the past two tests and this test is the accurate measure of my abilities.
In a little time, I have spent an entire paragraph, 95 words and counting, dwelling my performance and trying to rationalize yet. Simultaneously, I spent the past three minutes of typing this paragraph futility lamenting something unchangeable and arriving at no conclusion. Perhaps, if I thought for the rest of the life, or the next 10 minutes, I would truly contrive the reason for my slack performance, but is it worth the time. I believe our live follow this pattern, especially in our relationships with God.
Generally, in our eagerness, we set unattainable goals, such as perfection. Failure is not an option. In the presence of failure, we berate ourselves and emphasize our worthless qualities. Rather than considering how to proceed from this point, we dwell on the events that led to our failure. All the time, God realizes that we will make mistakes and appreciates our recognition of that mistake more than our steps to isolate the cause of the mistake.
It is difficult to realize the dangers of lingering on our faults. In the example above, it captured my attention. Generally this leaves me depressed upset or distracts me from other present tasks. Consequently, my attention shifted from God to my problems. Where do I find hope or a solution? Actually, yesterday I woke up considering the abundance of tasks I needed to complete that day. I find it difficult to sort out my day and guilty when I leave God out of the picture. It was when I started to diminish my concentration on my problems and start the day systematically that my day started to progress.
As I began to reflect on my distraught state, I began to realize my tradeoffs. I never realized the expenses that accompanied this contemplation and analysis. For the past two years, I have lost countless hours of sleeps and time with God. I began to realize that neither God nor I truly controlled my life. Some combination of my perfectionist urge and my schoolwork controlled it instead. I have challenged myself to change this. Naturally, a life where God takes second place does not fulfill me as much a life with him in the primary seat. It is important that we assess or mistakes, but more important that we allows God to help us up and life a life where we will not repeat the mistake. Do not trade God for anything, no even your problems. He would prefer you to have problems, work each day to fix them and fail, than to exclude him from you life because you have become obsessed with your fault. As proverbs, 24:16 says, “For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again.” Remember that Christ makes us righteous, not our acts (Romans 3:21-24).

(The first person pluralities are creepy, but bear with me.)

Faith Works: Now or Later?

Why do I believe in God? Why do I believe he deserves worship? Is life without God worth living? All of these questions have surfaced in my mind sometime in the past week. They came back to me as I watched a christian inspirational movie. Rob Bell, in his NOOMA series, commented on the throught that salvation exists as a waiting period, a holding tank for a better life to come. You try to introduce more people to that concept because younhope that person will share this destination. However, they do not believe that their life should be dedicated to creating a better life.

This reminds me of a comment that my grandmother always makes. She declares that the bible is fulfilling itself and that the world will only get worse. An "all we can do is pray" comment usually follows this saying. Both comments drive me crazy. First, I don't believe God put us in a world so that we could lose all hope for it and condemn it, and secondly, prayer is a powerful tool in a relationship with God, it shouldn't be treated so lightly. I think God desires us to change the world, but to do so now, not later. I've already jumpd the gun; i've assumed God wants something from me/you or a relationship with any of us.

I believe in faith now. Most importantly, I value my relationshipwith God. Once again, it's not an easy concept to explain, but it exists. I briefly reflected on my decision to make God the priority instead of my first priority. I think that idea! Why should God merely be another item on the list, he should be more than that. It's time for me to continue this philosophy. Lately, I've become more acustomed to depending on God, but he never lets me down.

Last:

Faith Now, Praise Now, Worship Now, Laugh Now, Cry Now, Pray Now, Sing Now, anything you want to give to God, do it now.

The song for last week was "To Worship You I Live (Away)" by Israel & New Breed. It's actually a simple song. The lyrics are as follows:

Away away from the noise alone with you away away to hear your voice and meet with you nothing else matters my one desire is To worship you I live to worship you I live I live to worship you oh oh.

As I began to think about the words of this song, I realized that I want a God-centered life. It's a life that I find uplifting and fulfilling because it offers guidance and direction. God-centrisim can be a lifestyle. I want to use my faith now to give Glory and Honor to my King.