Faults: Comon, yet frustrating

Few things happened today, yet they seemed eternally significant. I had my third organic test and I probably did not do as well as I did on the first or the second one. Perhaps, it was Anne’s fault for teaching us insufficient information, or worse, for making the test too difficult. Conversely, my insufficient studying (over 5 hours) left me hopelessly unprepared for this test. Maybe, I simply got lucky during the past two tests and this test is the accurate measure of my abilities.
In a little time, I have spent an entire paragraph, 95 words and counting, dwelling my performance and trying to rationalize yet. Simultaneously, I spent the past three minutes of typing this paragraph futility lamenting something unchangeable and arriving at no conclusion. Perhaps, if I thought for the rest of the life, or the next 10 minutes, I would truly contrive the reason for my slack performance, but is it worth the time. I believe our live follow this pattern, especially in our relationships with God.
Generally, in our eagerness, we set unattainable goals, such as perfection. Failure is not an option. In the presence of failure, we berate ourselves and emphasize our worthless qualities. Rather than considering how to proceed from this point, we dwell on the events that led to our failure. All the time, God realizes that we will make mistakes and appreciates our recognition of that mistake more than our steps to isolate the cause of the mistake.
It is difficult to realize the dangers of lingering on our faults. In the example above, it captured my attention. Generally this leaves me depressed upset or distracts me from other present tasks. Consequently, my attention shifted from God to my problems. Where do I find hope or a solution? Actually, yesterday I woke up considering the abundance of tasks I needed to complete that day. I find it difficult to sort out my day and guilty when I leave God out of the picture. It was when I started to diminish my concentration on my problems and start the day systematically that my day started to progress.
As I began to reflect on my distraught state, I began to realize my tradeoffs. I never realized the expenses that accompanied this contemplation and analysis. For the past two years, I have lost countless hours of sleeps and time with God. I began to realize that neither God nor I truly controlled my life. Some combination of my perfectionist urge and my schoolwork controlled it instead. I have challenged myself to change this. Naturally, a life where God takes second place does not fulfill me as much a life with him in the primary seat. It is important that we assess or mistakes, but more important that we allows God to help us up and life a life where we will not repeat the mistake. Do not trade God for anything, no even your problems. He would prefer you to have problems, work each day to fix them and fail, than to exclude him from you life because you have become obsessed with your fault. As proverbs, 24:16 says, “For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again.” Remember that Christ makes us righteous, not our acts (Romans 3:21-24).

(The first person pluralities are creepy, but bear with me.)

Faith Works: Now or Later?

Why do I believe in God? Why do I believe he deserves worship? Is life without God worth living? All of these questions have surfaced in my mind sometime in the past week. They came back to me as I watched a christian inspirational movie. Rob Bell, in his NOOMA series, commented on the throught that salvation exists as a waiting period, a holding tank for a better life to come. You try to introduce more people to that concept because younhope that person will share this destination. However, they do not believe that their life should be dedicated to creating a better life.

This reminds me of a comment that my grandmother always makes. She declares that the bible is fulfilling itself and that the world will only get worse. An "all we can do is pray" comment usually follows this saying. Both comments drive me crazy. First, I don't believe God put us in a world so that we could lose all hope for it and condemn it, and secondly, prayer is a powerful tool in a relationship with God, it shouldn't be treated so lightly. I think God desires us to change the world, but to do so now, not later. I've already jumpd the gun; i've assumed God wants something from me/you or a relationship with any of us.

I believe in faith now. Most importantly, I value my relationshipwith God. Once again, it's not an easy concept to explain, but it exists. I briefly reflected on my decision to make God the priority instead of my first priority. I think that idea! Why should God merely be another item on the list, he should be more than that. It's time for me to continue this philosophy. Lately, I've become more acustomed to depending on God, but he never lets me down.

Last:

Faith Now, Praise Now, Worship Now, Laugh Now, Cry Now, Pray Now, Sing Now, anything you want to give to God, do it now.

The song for last week was "To Worship You I Live (Away)" by Israel & New Breed. It's actually a simple song. The lyrics are as follows:

Away away from the noise alone with you away away to hear your voice and meet with you nothing else matters my one desire is To worship you I live to worship you I live I live to worship you oh oh.

As I began to think about the words of this song, I realized that I want a God-centered life. It's a life that I find uplifting and fulfilling because it offers guidance and direction. God-centrisim can be a lifestyle. I want to use my faith now to give Glory and Honor to my King.

Love Without End

It's been a long time since I've posted on blogspot. I think it's time that I start again. I like this site.

There has been a lot that's happened in my life recently, especially with my relationship with God. I feel like i've grown alot in the past month or two. Go Figure. I'm reading my bible more...Go ME!!

So anyway, back to the subject at hand. I've been listening to this song called You've been a friend by Israel and New Breed for the past day and 1/2. The lyrics are as follows:

Thank you for all you've done through your Son thank you for all you do you've brought me through when I look around and see where I've been you've been a friend

Glory honor exaltation power blessing worship love without end you've been a friend wo wo wo wo wo wo wo there's not a friend like you wo wo wo wo wo wo

For protecting me when I could not see thank you for hiding me under the shadow of your wings when I look around and see you again you've been a friend

Glory honor exaltation power blessing worship love without end you've been a friend wo wo wo wo wo wo wo there's not a friend like you wo wo wo wo wo wo

Oh, oh what a friend I have in you

Love without end, love without end, love without end: You've been a friend.

If you've read through all the lyrics, you'e probably discovered that this song is the inspiration for the name of today's blog. I stopped for a second to think about the concept of unconditionarlly eternal love. It brings me back to Roman 8:35 where we are reminded that, first, nothing can separate us from the love of Christ and that we are more than conquerors through him. More importantly, I love the fact that this song highlights a relationship with God. I believe that everyone can and should have a relationship with God (Jeremiah 31:31-34, Matthew 7:21-23). I began to consider what does it mean to have a friendship with God. The best example I can give is, perhaps, the most cliché, son father relationship.

For contextual purposes, I'm going to describe my idealistic version of a father-son relationship. I imagine that a father love his son, plays with his son, teachers his son, and disciplines his son - one big molding process. I imagine a father playing baseball, or some sport, with his son early on saturdays (as mine use to do). He does this because it's a perfect way to bond with his child while engaging in some activity, in a sense its something they can mutually appreciate. Similarly a father takes time to find out how his son's day has done, congratulates him for accomplishments, picks him up when he falls, rebuffs him for his flaws, and comforts him when he's distraught. A father talks to his son everyday, and his son speaks back. Occasionally they get angry with one another, but eventually they solve the issue. The father genearlly has directions/advice for his son, and the son obeys. Through all of this, the son loves and admires the son. Afterall, a dad is irreplacable, right?

I see God as a father figure. We share, conceptaully, many of these things. As I begin to think about a father, I started to see the concept of true love. Reguardless of what that child does, or says a father still loves his son unconditionally. I'm challenging myself to show love without end for as many people as possible this week. It's the only way to be a true fiend.