Ordinary Day, but unOrdinary Thoughts
I had one of those days, today, a day where I feel as though I did not accomplish much. Actually, a few minutes ago, I felt a little defeated. At times, I feel immature and somewhat small when others are watching me. Let us recap a little about today so that those claims can make sense.
Time I spend at school:
I spend a lot of time at school and many people speculate my motivation for doing this. At times, it is annoying, other times it is frustrating. Someone created a rumor about how I spent the night at school at one point. While these sayings and rumors are harmless, it bothers me that people have prematurely made conclusions about why I spend so much time at school. No one has considered that I need to be at school all the time, or that I may be having problems at home, or that I feel safer and secure all the time, or that it is just a place where I can think, or than I’m taking classes when others are gone, or that I just like the school environment. Perhaps, school is the only place I can do homework or study for a test. Instead, everyone has made it a point to highlight the amount of time that I spend at school and comment on it. I have grown weary of their comments, and yet I still adore these people. Actually, I do not think that many people could imagine how highly I view them.
Have you ever had a friend who constantly pointed out how awkward it was for him/her to say something about him/her self while you were around? I have that all the time. I think it is one of the most awkward things in the world. One day I walked into the room of my counselor’s office and she abruptly took up her papers and covered up whatever was on the desk. I did not really intend to look at it. I was stopping by to say “hi” and briefly speak to the counselor. She wasted no time in communicating the exclusivity of whatever item were on the desk. The next day, I decided to do the same thing to her once she looked on my computer so that she could realize how awkward her actions made me feel (bad idea). She instantly took the defensive side and started arguing about how she was not going to read it and that she thought it was something pertinent to her lab. The point is she became upset because I did to her what she did to me.
Today, I went to alternate seminar. I think it is funny that so many early college students thought they had a right to know why I went to the seminar. Honestly, I have to right to go to any class to which the professor invites me. It is hard to believe that my presence could have been that annoying or distracting to other students. Laura-Beth agreed with me (you have to love Laura-Beth). I hate having to justify my actions to everyone. I do not ask others to justify their actions and expect the same courteously from others. That really bothered me today. I think it bothered me because the people who comment and do these things are suppose to be my friends. I think I may have a loose interpretation of friendship. The people I am talking about are really acquaintances and see me as an acquaintance. It may actually be time that I just sever the bonds or at least change the way I view these people. I should not give them the opportunity to offend me. Either way, I believe will take care of it, because he has already begun to help me cope with this issue.
I have already prayed about it. After praying, I have just decided to dissolve some of my opinions and just remove some of my commentary. I believe that my comments at times can be far too extravagant and that I should limit my criticism to those who ask for it rather than freely extending it. Sometimes, just stopping pray, and singing to God can fix a problem that seems to have no solution. Today seemed like an ordinary day, but it has sparked some unordinary thoughts.
Time I spend at school:
I spend a lot of time at school and many people speculate my motivation for doing this. At times, it is annoying, other times it is frustrating. Someone created a rumor about how I spent the night at school at one point. While these sayings and rumors are harmless, it bothers me that people have prematurely made conclusions about why I spend so much time at school. No one has considered that I need to be at school all the time, or that I may be having problems at home, or that I feel safer and secure all the time, or that it is just a place where I can think, or than I’m taking classes when others are gone, or that I just like the school environment. Perhaps, school is the only place I can do homework or study for a test. Instead, everyone has made it a point to highlight the amount of time that I spend at school and comment on it. I have grown weary of their comments, and yet I still adore these people. Actually, I do not think that many people could imagine how highly I view them.
Have you ever had a friend who constantly pointed out how awkward it was for him/her to say something about him/her self while you were around? I have that all the time. I think it is one of the most awkward things in the world. One day I walked into the room of my counselor’s office and she abruptly took up her papers and covered up whatever was on the desk. I did not really intend to look at it. I was stopping by to say “hi” and briefly speak to the counselor. She wasted no time in communicating the exclusivity of whatever item were on the desk. The next day, I decided to do the same thing to her once she looked on my computer so that she could realize how awkward her actions made me feel (bad idea). She instantly took the defensive side and started arguing about how she was not going to read it and that she thought it was something pertinent to her lab. The point is she became upset because I did to her what she did to me.
Today, I went to alternate seminar. I think it is funny that so many early college students thought they had a right to know why I went to the seminar. Honestly, I have to right to go to any class to which the professor invites me. It is hard to believe that my presence could have been that annoying or distracting to other students. Laura-Beth agreed with me (you have to love Laura-Beth). I hate having to justify my actions to everyone. I do not ask others to justify their actions and expect the same courteously from others. That really bothered me today. I think it bothered me because the people who comment and do these things are suppose to be my friends. I think I may have a loose interpretation of friendship. The people I am talking about are really acquaintances and see me as an acquaintance. It may actually be time that I just sever the bonds or at least change the way I view these people. I should not give them the opportunity to offend me. Either way, I believe will take care of it, because he has already begun to help me cope with this issue.
I have already prayed about it. After praying, I have just decided to dissolve some of my opinions and just remove some of my commentary. I believe that my comments at times can be far too extravagant and that I should limit my criticism to those who ask for it rather than freely extending it. Sometimes, just stopping pray, and singing to God can fix a problem that seems to have no solution. Today seemed like an ordinary day, but it has sparked some unordinary thoughts.
posted by Child of God at 8:40 PM
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